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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27217804">How to Win a Costume Contest</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/the9muses/pseuds/the9muses'>the9muses</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Also Daisy is bringing AC back, And there is one rule:, Because Bobbi and Hunter are there, But FitzSimmons are together, Costumes, F/M, Fluff, Happy Halloween!, Honestly this is the best thing I've every written, I laughed so hard while writing this, Maybe because it's happy, No canoodling in the disguise archives, S.H.I.E.L.D is celebrating, They're all such nerds, This is, and Yo Yo is there, and everyone is very competitive, and fun, and hilarity, and i love them, and nobody dies, for once, longer than i expected it to be, or gets divorced, so basically I screwed up the timeline horribly, who knows when this is set, with contests</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:53:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,733</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27217804</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/the9muses/pseuds/the9muses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Most people, when deciding on their Halloween costumes, choose a costume that they will be able to look at without laughing. Coulson's team is not like that.<br/>For the S.H.I.E.L.D. costume contest, they decide to go as each other.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alphonso "Mack" Mackenzie/Yo Yo Rodriguez, Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse, Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How to Win a Costume Contest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy Halloween guys! It's a little early but what the heck, it's October, I can celebrate Halloween three days early.<br/>I wrote this solely for the purpose of making you laugh. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Jemma woke up on Monday morning, there was a piece of paper on the floor. She very nearly tripped on it, in her sleepy haze, but after making sure she was properly upright she picked it up and read it. It said:</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>  CALLING ALL S.H.I.E.L.D.TEAMS! THIS SATURDAY AT 5:30 PM, A HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST WILL BE HELD. WHICHEVER GROUP HAS THE BEST COSTUME WILL GET AN ALL EXPENSES PAID TRIP TO THAT GREAT TACO PLACE DOWN THE STREET. JUDGING WILL BE HELD IN THE REC ROOM. -Sincerely, Agents Piper and Davis </strong> </span>
</p><p>Simmons shook Fitz awake excitedly, showing him the flyer. </p><p>"We’ve got to do this, Fitz!” she exclaimed. Fitz groaned and rolled over. “A costume contest! There’s no way we can’t!” </p><p>“Sure,” Fitz grumbled, before going back to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>                                                                ...    </p><p> </p><p>Later that day, Daisy gathered everyone in the kitchen, brandishing the piece of paper.</p><p>“We have to win this.” </p><p>The rest of the team nodded in agreement.</p><p>“So. What’s the game plan?” Hunter said, and the brainstorming started.</p><p>“Star Wars characters,” Bobbi suggested.</p><p>“Star Trek,” countered Fitz.</p><p>“Dr. Who,” Jemma added.</p><p>“Avengers!” Daisy exclaimed.</p><p>“I’ll be Captain America!” Coulson said excitedly. Mack shook his head.</p><p>“Well, you’re all nerds.” </p><p>“Especially Coulson,” May remarked. They all nodded in agreement.</p><p>“Hey!” protested Coulson. Daisy shrugged.</p><p>“Sorry, AC, but it’s true.”  </p><p>“Well, if you’re bringing AC back, then you’re the big—” </p><p>“Guys!” Yo Yo broke in, “We are here to discuss Halloween costumes, not who the biggest nerd is. We only have a few days.” They all thought for a moment, and then Daisy gasped.</p><p>“I know. I know. It’s great.” </p><p>“Go on…” Bobbi prompted.</p><p>“We go as each other.” She was met with silence. And then everybody started to smile. </p><p>“I’ll go as Mack,” Hunter said, and everyone looked at him. “What? I’ve got a chance to carry around his axe-gun, I’m going to take it.”  </p><p>“No one gets the shotgun-ax.”</p><p>“You’re too short to be Mack anyway,” Bobbi teased him.</p><p>“Hey!” </p><p>“I’m just saying!”  </p><p>“Well, then I’ll be Bobbi. No one else is tall enough,” Mack declared. Daisy let out a snicker. “What?” </p><p>“I’m just imagining you in a blonde wig.” That set Bobbi off, which started a chain reaction, and soon they were all laughing so hard they could barely breathe. Even May. </p><p>“In all seriousness, though, it’s a good idea,” Bobbi finally said, wiping tears from her eyes.</p><p>“Yeah. Let’s do it,” agreed Coulson.</p><p>‘Well, if I can’t carry Mack’s shotgun-axe, I’ll be Fitz,” Hunter decided.</p><p>“And I’ll be Hunter,” Fitz said.</p><p>“And we’re all agreed Mack will go as me?” Bobbi asked.</p><p>“Now hold on a minute, I was only jok—</p><p>“Yes,” Daisy, Simmons, Hunter, and Yo Yo said in unison.   </p><p>“I can go as Mack,” Yo Yo told them, and then looked to Simmons. “What about you, Jemma?” </p><p>“I’ll be Coulson,” Simmons decided.</p><p>“I’ll be May!” Daisy volunteered. </p><p>Bobbi looked at Coulson. “I’ll be Simmons,” she said, and then looked at May, trying to send her a message with her eyes.</p><p>“And I’ll be Yo Yo,” May said quickly. </p><p>And then they all looked at Coulson. </p><p>“So that leaves me with… Daisy.” </p><p>Bobbi nodded cheerfully. “Correct! So, to recap, Hunter and I will go as FitzSimmons, Mack is me and Fitz is Hunter, Yo Yo is Mack, May is Yo Yo, Daisy is May, and Coulson is Daisy. Let’s do this!” </p><p>“Just in case you didn’t know, Bob likes Halloween,” Hunter told them. “I’ve always wondered why, given that she dresses up for a living.” </p><p>“It’s more fun when I’m doing it for fun,” Bobbi explained. “Now, let’s get to work.” </p><p>“Let’s eat lunch first,” Hunter said. Bobbi rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Okay, fine. Lunch first, and then Halloween.” </p><p>“Maybe we should do it separately, though. It would make it more fun,” Simmons suggested. </p><p>“Yeah, that works. Anyway, let’s go eat lunch!” </p><p>                                                          </p><p>                                                                 ...            </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Daisy, can I borrow your Quake suit?” Daisy looked up at Coulson. </p><p>“Are you planning on wearing it? Because it’s going to be too small for you.” She pictured Coulson wearing her suit, and she suppressed her giggles.</p><p>“No, I just need to see what it looks like. I’ll bring it back soon, I promise.”  </p><p>“Yeah, it’s fine.” She went to grab it from her closet and handed it to him. “Don’t rip it or anything.” </p><p>“I won’t.” </p><p>Daisy watched Coulson leave and then turned back to her laptop. She’d found an image of May that she’d taken a while ago and had started to study it, trying to figure out what she would need. Eventually, she gave up on doing it from the image and went to go find May. She found May in her room, watching a Youtube video on how to braid hair properly.</p><p>"Hey, May, can I borrow your clothing?" </p><p>"Sure," May said, not looking up from the video. before she could realize what she'd agreed to, Daisy ran into her closet, grabbed what she needed, and went back to her room.</p><p>Her suit was lying on the bed, and Coulson was nowhere to be seen.</p><p> </p><p>                                                                  ...</p><p> </p><p>"Let's raid the disguise archives."</p><p>"Hold on, there's a disguise archive?"</p><p>Bobbi turned to look at Hunter.</p><p>"...Yeah. Where did you think I got all my disguises from?"</p><p>"I dunno, I thought you pulled them out of the air. Your own little inhuman power." Bobbi raised her eyebrows.</p><p>"Did you really—never mind. It's pretty cool, I'll show it to you."</p><p>Bobbi led him down to a hallway that Hunter had never bothered to explore before. A man was standing outside of one of the doors.</p><p>"Hey, Jackson," Bobbi greeted him, "I need access to room thirteen." Jackson looked between the two of them suspiciously.</p><p>"I'm going to remind you of the first rule, Morse. No canoodling in the archives." Hunter swore he saw Bobbi flush.</p><p>"We just need it for Halloween," she said defensively.</p><p>"Any chance you're entering that costume contest?"</p><p>"Yep! You?" Jackson nodded.</p><p>"Yeah, me and a few other guys from security are gonna do it together. Maybe I shouldn't let you in, then, Morse."</p><p>"I'm just warning you, if you don't let me in I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures. Do you really want a repeat of—"</p><p>"Alright, alright," he said hastily before she could finish her sentence, "go on in." He handed her a key, and Bobbi showed Hunter over to a door. She unlocked it and let the two of them through.</p><p>"Who was that?" </p><p>"Oh, that's Theo Jackson. We did some training together at the academy. Anyway, this is the disguise archive." Hunter looked around the enormous room, filled with everything you'd ever need to disguise yourself. He had to admit, it was pretty incredible. "Yeah, it's cool. Now help me find the right stuff," Bobbi ordered. </p><p>They went through the various disguises, trying things on at random, until Hunter had found something that looked almost exactly like what Fitz wore every day and Bobbi had found both a brown wig and some clothing that she said, "looked like Simmons." </p><p>"Got everything?" Hunter asked. Bobbi nodded and then smiled mischievously.</p><p>"You know, there aren't any cameras in here. No way to enforce the rules." </p><p>"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Bobbi smiled and pulled him closer.</p><p>"What do you think?" And then she kissed him. Yeah, she was saying what he thought she was saying.</p><p>                                                                </p><p>                                                                           ...</p><p> </p><p>Mack and Coulson had an extremely important, top-secret, ultra-classified mission.</p><p>Wigs.</p><p>They had to buy wigs.</p><p>They left the base in the dead of night (actually it was 10 in the morning, but let them have their moment) and navigated the dangerous streets of D.C. until they got to a small wig shop a few miles away. It was called Frannie's Wig Shop, and Coulson had found it on TripAdvisor. </p><p>He wasn't entirely certain why someone would leave a review for a wig shop on TripAdvisor but to each their own.</p><p>Mack pushed open the door to the shop, and they were greeted by the chime of a bell and an old lady smiling pleasantly.</p><p>"Hi! I'm Frannie. How can I help you boys?" she asked.</p><p>"Well, we need two wigs by Saturday," Mack replied. Frannie made a face.</p><p>"Unless you're buying a pre-made wig, that isn't going to be possible."</p><p>"We'll buy pre-made wigs," Coulson said, feeling rather out of his depth. </p><p>"Wonderful. What do you want them to look like?"</p><p>"Well, I need a blonde wig. Just past my shoulders. He needs a black wig, with choppier ends, that goes just past the chin." Frannie nodded slowly, muttering to herself.</p><p>"And do you want me to come to your show?" </p><p>"Our... show?" </p><p>"You're not drag queens?" Mack shook his head with a laugh.</p><p>"No, we're working on our Halloween costumes." Frannie chuckled. </p><p>"Well then, I'll just measure your heads and you can be on your merry way!" She grabbed a measuring tape and wrapped it around Mack's head, and then did the same to Coulson. "Hold on, I'll be right back." She went to the back of the shop, and after digging around for a few minutes, came back with two plastic packages. "Here you are! That'll be one hundred and thirteen dollars!" Coulson handed her the emergency S.H.I.E.L.D. credit card.</p><p>"Uh, Coulson, shouldn't we only be using that for emergencies?" Mack whispered to him as Frannie did the transaction.</p><p>"Being director has its perks," Coulson whispered back, "and besides, this is an emergency." </p><p>"If you say so." </p><p> </p><p>                                                                      ...</p><p> </p><p>Yo Yo ordered a bald cap from Amazon and spent her time over the next few days learning how to properly it on. She also stole Mack's shotgun-ax. Maybe Hunter couldn't use it, but she was Mack's girlfriend. She could use his shotgun-ax, right?</p><p>Wrong. He stole it back from her. </p><p>And then she stole it again. </p><p> </p><p>It kept going like that, but Yo Yo is called Yo Yo for a reason.</p><p>Suffice to say, she had it the day of the contest.</p><p> </p><p>                                                            ...</p><p> </p><p>Fitz was having some problems with his costume.</p><p>"Hunter doesn't have a <em> style,"  </em> he complained to Simmons, "he just dresses like your average guy." </p><p>"So do you," Simmons told him as she made some tweaks to her fake prosthetic arm.</p><p>"Well, at least I wear something slightly distinct!" </p><p>"I'm sure you're the same size, just go raid his closet," Simmons responded absentmindedly as she tested out the shield. </p><p>"Yeah, but what would I wear to make people understand it's Hunter?" </p><p>"Just act sarcastic but every time you see Mack act more sarcastic and also in love." </p><p>"Mack?" </p><p>"Dressed as Bobbi," Simmons explained as she tried out the other features on the fake prosthetic. </p><p>"It feels like you're not invested in the conversation, Jemma." Simmons looked up, an innocent smile on her face.</p><p>"Oh, but I am! Do you want me to recount to you everything you've said so far?" Fitz sighed.</p><p>"Fine. I'll just go raid his closet." </p><p>He made his way to Hunter and Bobbi's room and knocked on the door.</p><p>"Will my eyes get burned off if I come in?" he shouted through the door. </p><p>"Maybe hold off on coming inside for a few moments," Bobbi called back, sounding out of breath, which made Fitz quite glad he'd knocked. One should always knock when it came to Bobbi and Hunter. He'd learned that from Daisy, who'd learned the hard way.</p><p>A little bit later, the door swung open. "What is it, mate?" Hunter asked.</p><p>"Jemma told me to raid your closet." </p><p>"And you should always do what Jemma Simmons says, " Bobbi said from where she was sitting. Fitz nodded.</p><p>"Exactly."</p><p> </p><p>                                                                      ...</p><p> </p><p>That Friday, they all met to check-in. May was wearing her hair in two braids the way Yo Yo always did, which Yo Yo smiled at.</p><p>"I like the hair, Melinda," she said. May nodded.</p><p>"I do too. Keeps it out of the way." </p><p>"So, has everyone finished their costumes?" Coulson asked. Everyone, except Yo Yo, nodded. "What do you have to do, Yo Yo?" </p><p>"I need a shotgun-ax," she said, looking pointedly at Mack. </p><p>"For the last time, Yo Yo, you can't—" </p><p>"Okay, okay," Bobbi broke in, "I've heard the two of you have this argument at least four times in the past two days. Is anyone missing a really big part of their costume?" They all shook their heads. "Good. Then we're ready for tomorrow." </p><p> </p><p>                                                          ...</p><p> </p><p>The next day, they all got into costume and headed to the rec room. Mack and Coulson were both missing, though, even at 5:20. The team looked around at the other competitors, which included a group of agent's kids dressed as the Avengers, some security guys dressed like zombies, a group dressed as Jane Austen characters, a group dressed as Hamilton characters, and a group that was just a random assortment of characters from movies that were released in the 80s. Daisy kept looking at her watch, waiting for Coulson and Mack. Jemma kept asking Bobbi what time it was because Fitz had asked. Bobbi kept grabbing Daisy's arm to check the time. On and on and on, until, at 5:29, Mack walked in the door.</p><p>His effect on the room was instantaneous. Everyone looked at him. </p><p>And everyone started laughing.</p><p>Mack was wearing a blonde wig, the fake hair pulled back into a ponytail, and a skintight suit that looked similar to Bobbi's Mockingbird suit. On top of that, he was holding two pipes that looked a little like her batons. He looked ridiculous. </p><p>"Hello, everyone," he said, in a higher voice than usual, "I'm Bobbi Morse. Aren't I gorgeous?" Bobbi was bent over, trying not to suffocate from laughing too hard. </p><p>"That's a... a terr...terrible impression!" she said in between fits of laughter. </p><p>"No, no, it was wonderful," Hunter responded, "so if we ever need a body double, we know who to ask!" </p><p>"But he has different color eyes," Daisy deadpanned. They all looked at her. It was almost too much. Bobbi's stomach hurt from laughing, and tears were tracing their way down her face. </p><p>And then Coulson came in the door.</p><p>He was wearing Daisy's suit or at least a knockoff of it. It was slightly different from hers. He also had the gauntlets that Daisy always wore. Simmons had made them for him. The wig he was wearing looked eerily similar to Daisy's hair. He too looked ridiculous. </p><p>After they'd recovered from their laughing fits by purposely looking away from Mack and Coulson, the judges came in.</p><p>The minute they say Coulson's team, they too dissolved into laughter. Other than Coulson and Mack, though, the rest of the team looked fairly normal. Well. Normal is a relative term.</p><p>Bobbi was wearing a brown wig, a blazer, a pair of flats, and jeans. If she wasn't five foot eleven, she could have passed for Jemma. Kind of. She looked normal, at least.</p><p>Jemma had her hair pulled back tightly into a ponytail that she'd tucked into the suit she was wearing. She also had her fake prosthetic arm. It was essentially a glove that could do everything Coulson's arm could.</p><p>Fitz was just wearing jeans and a grey, long-sleeved shirt. He could easily pass as Hunter.</p><p>Yo Yo was wearing a bald cap, which was the first thing you noticed. The second thing you would probably notice would be the shotgun-ax slung on her back. You probably wouldn't notice the plain black t-shirt, jacket, and jeans she was wearing.</p><p>Daisy was simply wearing May's clothes, a t-shirt, jacket, and pants.</p><p>Hunter was wearing a flannel shirt underneath a cardigan, underneath another cardigan. He kept complaining about it being too warm inside. Bobbi kept telling him to take off one of the sweaters. He kept telling her that would ruin his look.</p><p>May had her hair up in the two braids Yo Yo liked to wear, with a S.H.I.E.L.D. jacket and jeans. </p><p>All in all, they looked like Coulson's team dressing up as Coulson's team.</p><p> </p><p>Which was exactly what they'd been going for.</p><p>Once Piper and Davis had collected themselves, they commenced the judging. </p><p>The group of superhero kids won, much to the team's chagrin. But, of course, they were kids dressed as superheroes. They were adorable. </p><p> </p><p>After the contest, they went and got tacos anyway.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've been living with the idea of Mack in a blonde wig for a week, and I thought was time to share XD<br/>Please comment and leave kudos &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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